Candi
I’m lying awake in bed staring at the ceiling. Its 5am. Who will I be today? What you see is what you get…that’s what they say, right? No. What you see is not always what you get. Stop. Look in the mirror, who do you see? Is it you? Is it who you want to be today? No, no. Today I will have to create an illusion. No one needs to know that my subconscious has declared a coup d’état and prevailed.
Not much to do today; just a few errands. Jeans, tee shirt and chucks; yeah that sounds good. You can never go wrong with chucks. Today I’ll be easy going Candi. Today will be easy breezy, yes that sounds good. That’s the lie I told myself today. Check the mirror and smile…it’s all an illusion. But no one will know.
We lie to ourselves, all the time, and often choose not to notice, to challenge ourselves; to stop ourselves. While it’s stupid to say it, when you think about it, most of us have small issues that we blow up into earthshaking dramas.
But we whine and moan and complain about all of our dramas, and gather with others and whine some more. And really it’s nothing. Even in the midst of a real situation there is only this: I will do what I can do. Sitting down and giving up accomplishes nothing, so I will act, and see what happens next. Whatever! Really! That’s a load of…yeah that’s right; fill in the blank.
Huh…in my world all of that is garbage. My life, my life is not fair!! I’m damaged goods. So, what do I do? I evade, I can’t accept my reality. I won’t, I can’t accept that this is my life. So today, today it’s all an illusion; a trick of the light.
Snap out of it, get over it and move on. That’s a great idea! Then…I look back into the mirror and remember the person I am… damaged goods.
